The lights dim and the round stage in the centre of this enormous barn lights up. Several people emerge from the wings and walk down the aisles through the crowd to the stage where they don instruments. So that'll be her backing band then. Finally a familiar keyboard refrain blasts out and Queen Shania herself emerges from a curtained section in the centre of the stage. The song is "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" and the adoring throng is on its feet in a flash.
Adorned in an incongruous outfit of diamond jewellery and gym kit (including boxing boots), Twain pouts and preens her way up and down the stage. During the second song, she begins a routine that continues for most of the remainder of the show. It involves her making her way round the lip of the stage signing autographs and shaking hands with the people in the floor seats who crowd to the stage like they’re encountering a world leader.
It's as if she's at a meet'n'greet rather than a concert. Midway through the supposedly tender passage of a song she's scribbling frantically on an image of herself in the tour programme. She draws the winner of a charity raffle, preaching about the importance of supporting local organisations, but gets the name of the charity in question (the NSPCC, for the record) wrong. Which is symptomatic of the fact that she seems to be on complete autopilot – this could be anywhere in the world, all she needs to do is sing the songs and press the flesh.
Not much else is right either, aside from the admittedly dazzling pyrotechnics. The sound is far too loud, even for a venue this large, and her irritatingly twee mix of styles also falls largely flat. Only "Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)" and "That Don’t Impress Me Much" successfully blend the gritty sensibilities of country and the hooks of pop.
Still what does the music or sound matter when Shania and guitar player are sat in Row M at the back of the arena for "The Woman In Me" and she dons an England rugby shirt (as if to prove she does know which country she's in) for "You're Still The One"?
As the confetti rains down at the end the rush to the merchandise stands begins. A soulless arena show at its worst, what's worse is it masquerades as one huge hugfest between artist and crowd. In fact, only one of the two is doing the giving and, charity raffle or not, it sure ain't Shania.
