It seems a long time ago now since the Beastie Boys were referred to, unfailingly, as the coolest band on the planet. It didn't matter how dorkishly they presented themselves, how boorish they could be in interviews, or even how much rubbish they could release on their Grand Royal label. For well over a decade they were pop's untouchables, able to make cookery, Buddhism and playing Boggle seem like immeasurably hip lifestyle options.
In the six years between the marvellous "Hello Nasty" and "To The 5 Boroughs", however, the Beasties stock has rather dwindled. Grand Royal has folded, and the New York smart-alec cool perpetuated by the trio has been superseded by the louche, leather-jacketed NYC posturing of The Strokes and their acolytes. In their infantilism and brattish energy, the Beasties now look curiously old-fashioned compared with the studied distance of their juniors. Comedy, it seems, is no longer kosher.
"To The 5 Boroughs", then, is a critical album in the career of these three mature absurdists, as they head towards their forties. At times, it sounds like a battle for New York's hearts and minds, as Adam Yauch, Adam Horovitz and Mike Diamond attempt to reclaim the city as a bright, diverse, cultural epicentre in the wake of terrorist attacks and pasty nocturnal poseurs like Interpol. On "An Open Letter To NYC", they mine the city's grimy punk heritage for the key sample – "Sonic Reducer" by The Dead Boys. But the mood is defiant, celebratory, a song that glories in the city's positivity rather than glamorising its dissolute subcultures.
It's a commendable concept, and one which stretches throughout the 15 tracks of "To The 5 Boroughs". What's more problematic is the clumsy way in which the Beasties articulate their theme. "I'm back in the game of hip-hop, representing Manhattan," announces Diamond on "Rhyme The Rhyme Well". But too often, the trio's rhymes are merely awkwardly-phrased platitudes. The biggest culprit is Yauch, whose vocals are now so hoarse he sounds like he could expire at any moment. Again and again, he returns to impeccably judged political points: America needs a more left-leaning government; President Bush should be impeached; the Kyoto protocol should not be rejected; gun control is a good thing. Almost invariably, though, he expresses them with a crassness and halting flow that provokes cringes rather than cheers.
And flow is the key to "To The 5 Boroughs". Unlike the jittery smorgasbords of their '90s albums, it's purely a hip-hop album, with great skrees of rhyme laid over Mixmaster Mike's cuts and some pulsating minimalist electro. On a few tracks – "Triple Trouble", "Oh Word?", "Right Right Now Now" - the starkness is invigorating. But over an entire album, the formula's limitations, and the limitations of the rappers, becomes a source of frustration. Imagine "Hello Nasty" if it had entirely consisted of "Three MCs And One DJ" and you're close to understanding exactly how "To The 5 Boroughs" sounds.
In other words, if half a dozen of these tracks had been thrown into an eclectic mix alongside hardcore spurts, sloppy funk jams, fractious confessionals and haphazard dub, it would be easier to ignore their repetitive nature. As it is, we're left with an album that tells us, inexhaustibly, a few key facts. 1) New York is a smashing place. 2) George W Bush and his chums are generally a bad thing for both America and the world. And 3) We are The Beastie Boys, there are three of us, and we are endlessly amusing and dextrous rappers without equal.
The irony is, if they hadn't gone and made such a dedicated rap album, we might have found the last point more plausible.
