Last year, Annie became the latest incumbent of one of popular music’s most unwanted accolades: performer of a single which absolutely everyone loved but next to no-one actually bought. While gracing even the archest turntables across the country, “Chewing Gum” – with its none-more-pop put-down chorus refrain of “You think you’re chocolate but you’re chewing gum” – reached a lowly Number 25 back in September. On a less forgiving label, the Norwegian lovely would have been out the door and the contents of “Anniemal” little more than the source of idle contemplation. As it is, their coffers swollen by the success of The Streets, 679 Recordings have seen fit to release Annie’s debut album, a low-key collection of calculatingly cool electropop.
Annie’s spiritual ancestors (as is most apparent in the title track) are Saint Etienne: note-perfect and born of great affection for music past and present but displaying little warmth or humanity in the almost antiseptic end product. “Anniemal” marries tasteful Europop (Air rather than DJ Otzi, say) to breathy vocals with a cute Nordic twang for a hipper than usual dinner party soundtrack that leaves you utterly unaffected and with no sense of the personality of the person responsible whatsoever.
Fine in the case of Rachel Stevens, whose deepest thoughts amount to how much hairspray to wear that day, less so with an utterly unknown quantity like Annie who, going by the vile studded stonewash denim jacket she’s swathed in on the album sleeve, is unlikely to make amends with a series of borderline pornographic lads’ mag covers.
The best tracks by far are “Chewing Gum” (Richard X’s finest five minutes) and “Greatest Hit”, which samples Madonna’s early single “Everybody” to great ’80s effect but only serves to show up the rest of the record as the facsimile it is. “Anniemal” is a textbook pop album – with all the passion that entails (i.e. none).
