Yahoo! Music Album Review

Released on 30/05/05
Label: Sanctuary

Of the many figures to have been spewed into our culture from the fiendish minds of reality TV producers, Kelly Osbourne is something of a rarity, in that she is a genuine star. A bolshy, big-mouthed, in-your-face and up-your-nose star, as loved as she is hated and apparently indifferent to either. Anyone who doubts her wit should study her withering response to a stylist who tried to squeeze her into a midriff-revealing top - "I think you have neglected to notice that I am fat." Yes, an undoubted star, just not of the pop variety.

Which is why, given that Osbourne has a voice as flat and featureless as the Netherlands, and that her previous recording output has been so appalling, it's surprising how enjoyable "Sleeping In The Nothing" is. Of all the eighties retro records that have come out in recent months, none has gone as far as Osbourne in aping the tinny sounds and effervescent keyboards of early eighties electronica. One listen to the handclaps and squelchy Space Invader synths of "Edge Of Your Atmosphere" and it's 1983 all over again, just with marginally better haircuts.

Of course, Gwen Stefani recently released an album made up of rather similar parts, and it is no co-incidence that Osbourne has poached the same producer, Linda Perry. Terrific lead single "One Word" even steals the background mutterings of Stefani's "What You Waiting For?", though this time the muttering is French rather than Japanese. It seems likely that more than one of these songs were once intended for the bigger star. But who cares when the song is as clever and poised a slice of atmospheric electronica as "One Word"?

Almost as good is the drum machine hyperactivity of "Secret Lover", the Soft Cell sleaziness of "Redlight" or the rather ridiculous but highly enjoyable new wave screechalong "Entropy". But before getting carried away, its important to acknowledge that a song like "Uh Oh" is fatally scuppered by Osbourne's flat delivery before the chorus even turns up while tracks like "I Can't Wait" are just too helplessly retro to ever impress.

Still, the fact that this record is bearable at all is something of a miracle given Osbourne's lack of inherent talent. File as a guilty pleasure.

    by Jaime Gill