Yahoo! Music Album Review

Released on 25/07/05
Label: Southern Fried Records

Being a superstar DJ in the year 2005, isn't all it was once cracked up to be. The limos, the girls, the record sales and the money are now, once again, reserved for skinny art school drop-outs with guitars. And as for the remix work, there's barely enough to fill a B-side.

For proof of this sad state of affairs, look no further than Armand Van Helden. The man who made Tori Amos cool with his funked-up reworking of "Professional Widow" and took up his place at the top of the US dance tree with his phenomenal LP "2 Future 4 U", has not only had to endure the indignity of being the inspiration for Ali G, he's had his superstar status revoked and is now back plying his trade on 'the underground'.

But fear not, if Van Helden has his way, this is just a blip. You see, Armand Van Helden has a cunning plan. If guitars and rock are what the people want, then that's what he'll give them. Employing the 'If you can't beat them…' maxim with varying degrees of success, "Nympho" sees him revamping his slick club beats with a snare drum, some power chords and an amp turned all the way up to eleven.

It's not a bad idea either. The dirty White Stripes guitars and New Order-esque four to the floor beat bring the title track's floor-filling groove somewhere near the here and now. Meanwhile the '80s, big-hair thump of "Into Your Eyes" is good fun and "Brainwashing"'s new wave riff, a little nod to Franz Ferdinand & co, might get him a modicum of kudos. But after the initial spark of interest, they thud their way to monotony, and it's apparent that his only real purpose is to rock the super club. Which would be fine, if he could still find one.

Yet all is not lost. With "Come Play With Me"'s filth and the fantastically suggestive "Sugar", he stumbles upon two of the sleaziest tracks of this or any other decade. Smearing his punky bass and grinding bmp with breathless, finger-licking female vocals - so smutty they sound like they were recorded by strippers mid-lapdance - he delivers tracks which excite beyond the realm of fashion and the dancefloor.

If Armand Van Helden wants to avoid having to endlessly reinvent himself, he may well have found the answer. Guitars and DJs may come and go and come again, but sex always sells.

    by Dan Gennoe