Yahoo! Music Album Review

Released on 28/11/05
Label: Jive

The initial reaction to this remix album is that it's simply a festive cash-in. After all, with Christmas approaching, a new album on the shelves means another handful of zeroes in the bank account and a pile of Pampers for Britney Jr. The strange thing is, it's hard to imagine that her fans actually want this - is that teenage fanbase really crying out for clubby reworkings of their favourite tunes? Surely they have Kylie for that. The only plausible explanation is that this is aimed at grannies buying for granddaughters. Hence it doesn't really matter what the album sounds like, as long as it's got the word Britney on the cover.

After spending some time with these remixes - by and large, mostly perfunctory overhauls, keeping the vocals intact and grafting on a dumb four to the floor beat - another theory springs to mind. Perhaps this is Britney's people testing the water. The spectacular "Toxic" aside (all hail the goddess that is Cathy Dennis), "In The Zone" was a fairly unconvincing attempt to boot Britney into the adult market. Songs about masturbation littered with heavy breathing may work for XTina, but with Britney it all felt forced and uncharacteristic somehow.

With dance music, however, it's possible to retain a respectable sheen while appealing to an adult market. You can almost hear the cogs turning at Camp Spears HQ. Viewed as an experiment, then, this album has some worth. But all these dumb retoolings really prove is that Britney shines with a great pop song - as do most professional pop puppets - and sinks with a mediocre one. Remixing the above equation with a doof-doof beat simply reverses it slightly - the great pop songs are ruined, while the mediocre ones become vaguely adequate. Which is a shame because were the remixers allowed to look beyond Britney - to really reinvent their source material - then Britney might have found an adult style that genuinely suits her.

But, alas no. There's a second in Peter Rauhofer's respangling of "Toxic" when, brilliantly, Britney sounds like Goldfrapp - but the moment soon passes and we're knee-deep in Top Shop territory. "Touch Of My Hand" starts well with a gliding trance backing, but quickly descends into "Full Moon" party hell. "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" threatens to invent the dance "Evita", but, again, the Ibiza clichés rapidly overwhelm any hints of invention. Only two reworkings actually succeed, chiefly because they sneak in their own agendas while Britney's back is turned.

The Valentin remix of "Everytime" turns a piano-led Madonna homage into an ultra-cheesy, hi-energy, gay as you like anthem, which would walk off with Eurovision 2006 were Britney from Estonia. Jason Nevins' "Early Morning", meanwhile, is a wry trick for the musos in the audience. Consulting the small print reveals that the song was co-written by Moby, so Nevins reinvents it as a Moby song - essentially the piano riff from "Extreme Ways" tied to an atmospheric synth line and a loose Phoenix-style arrangement. It's pop genius in three and a half minutes, even more impressive as the original was so forgettable.

The lesson then? Hire Dennis, hire Nevins. Save Britney!

    by Ian Watson