Yahoo! Music Album Review

Released on 28/11/05
Label: Altantic

It takes a while to work out exactly why this album feels so underwhelming, why at the end of its 35 minutes you're left with little more than a vague sense of bemusement and the phrase "Is that it?" running through your mind.

At first, you think it must be the Frankie Factor. When The Darkness first appeared in a rash of spandex and sudden hysteria, bassist Frankie Poullain, awkward-looking with his ridiculous porn star moustache, seemed like an infiltrator, as if one of us had sneaked into the band. If this was a joke, then Frankie's presence suggested it was one we could all laugh at. His dismissal brought the party to an undignified close, souring the goodwill that had propelled The Darkness, pushing them onto ever more ludicrous heights. And what's a good time band without goodwill?

But no, it's not that. If Poullain's sacking were indicative of singer Justin Hawkins' rampaging ego, then this album would be a ridiculous, overblown folly. In fact, in terms of natural progression, a ridiculous, overblown folly is exactly what The Darkness should have served-up. Instead, there's a collection of competent but over familiar rockers, a few funny lines, a couple of songs that hint at what could have been, and a general sense of a band that doesn't really know what to do with success now that they've finally attained it.

So, ironically, what this album lacks is confidence. A song like "Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time" is piled high with bombastic rock signifiers - knowingly poignant strings, melodramatic exhortations of love - but rather than build up to a spectacularly grandiose peak in finest Freddie Mercury style, it hits a plateau and meanders along in a surprisingly bland fashion. "Is it Just Me?" and "Girlfriend", meanwhile, feel like Darkness-by-numbers, adequate rockers with heard-it-all-before lyrics that wouldn't have even made it onto the shortlist for "Permission To Land".

That said, Hawkins is, at least, attempting something interesting with his lyrics. "Knockers", "Dinner Lady Arms", "Bald" and "Blind Man" are all written from the perspective of an ageing loner who either has to return to a former, bloated love or face up to the harsh facts of life - losing your hair, mortality etc. And while "Bald" may appear self-consciously serious and lacking fire, tying a "Street Spirit"-style guitar line and a tolling bell to a song about going bald is - on paper at least - pretty funny. But when were The Darkness ever about being funny in theory?

The best songs are those that push towards ridicule and smash through the taste barrier. "Hazel Eyes" marches straight into the no-go zone of the "Mull Of Kintyre" with bagpipe guitars and military drums, while "English Country Garden" could be Queen jamming with Elton John, all high octane eccentricity. An entire album of this kind of stuff and we'd be buzzing with the same mixture of shock, disbelief and delight that greeted "Permission To Land".

But, as it is, "One Way Ticket…" proves the last thing anyone expected - that stripped of novelty and goodwill, The Darkness are just a resolutely ordinary band after all.

    by Ian Watson