Gig played on 06/12/05

You think the Stone Roses are a big deal in Britain? Go to Ireland. It's like a religion over there. People still go about in Reni hats and Spike Island T-shirts. The Complete Stone Roses sell out massive arenas. Your reporter got beaten-up once for saying Happy Mondays were better. And they were!

All Ian Brown has to do is show up tonight and half the punters will go home happy. Sadly, he knows it, and tonight turns in a show so petulant and shambolic you'd probably find it funny if tickets weren't priced at 50 euros a pop. That Brown doesn't hit a single note all night is maybe forgivable; that he behaves like a spoilt child throughout is not. Admittedly it starts well. As always, the guy looks immaculate, in his wraparound shades and sky-blue baseball jacket, and when he opens with a one-two of "Elizabeth My Dear" and "I Wanna Be Adored" - to predictably hysterical reaction - a triumphant evening seems in prospect.

But forget that. No sooner has "…Adored" fluttered from view than the gig turns into a particularly annoying soundcheck. A woeful "Dolphin Were Monkeys" is prefaced by several long minutes of Brown berating the soundman: apparently, he can't hear himself in the monitors. As the gig wears on and the tantrums continue, we'll start to wish we couldn't hear him either. A wearisome, tune-defying trudge through the likes of "Whispers", "Lovebug" and "TIME" is enlivened only by a brief appearance by legendary Happy Mondays bassist Paul Ryder, who after tonight will presumably consider his brother Shaun a vocal gymnast and bastion of professionalism.

Even when Brown reaches for the big guns, his total inability to stay in key ensures brisk business at the bar. If "My Star" was any flatter, it would be a land mass in the Benelux region. If "Golden Gaze" were any more leaden, you could emboss HP2 on its side and use it to fill in the crossword. Meanwhile, Irish police have opened a file on "Keep What You Got", brutally murdered in Dublin city centre on December 6. It's only during the encore that Brown appeases his Irish apostles. Guess how? He does some more Roses tunes! "Made Of Stone", "She Bangs The Drums" and "Waterfall" all sound suitably brash and beautiful, not least because the crowd's singing drowns out Brown's. Credit too must go to Brown's deft (and endlessly patient) backing band.

The guy manages to stave off a lynching tonight, but his show nonetheless amounts to an abuse of his fans' loyalty. If he's trying to make people pine for a Roses reunion, well, he's going the right way about it. If not, he's just taking the piss.

by Niall O'Keeffe