Gig played on 21/12/05

A couple of years back, news that the original members of Duran Duran had reformed was met with the kind of critical revisionism normally reserved for Oasis retrospectives. One weekly music rag declared them The Strokes of the '80s, while others fell over backwards to cite the pop idols as the second coming. This was principally nonsense, but, for a band well into their 40s, Duran Duran are certainly looking far chipper than expected.

Simon Le Bon's diet has clearly paid off even if the dancing lessons haven't and John Taylor's ability to sport a pair of leather trousers without the slightest hint of embarrassment should be applauded. However, Andy Taylor's bizarre morphing into Mickey Rourke is cause for concern. Indeed, it's the diminutive guitarist who proves to be amongst Duran Duran's weak links tonight.

First off, since when was "Planet Earth" a heavy rock song? That's the impression given as Taylor cranks his axe up to 11 and rocks out as the rest of his bandmates gamely attempt to keep things pop. Indeed, Andy's plank-spanking becomes so unrestrained during "Union Of The Snake" that it's virtually unrecognisable and when an unruly saxophone is added to the mix it becomes abundantly clear we're all in trouble. "Come Undone" then does exactly that but nothing can prepare us for what comes next.

A deranged fan murdered John Lennon yet here is Duran Duran doing exactly the same thing to his memory with a truly hideous reading of the former Beatle's "Instant Karma". Dedicated to Lennon's ability to "push forward musical barriers", the Brummie quintet simply pick them up and put them back to where they were. And if that wasn't enough, Sly Stone's "I Want To Take You Higher" is taken round the back for a brutal workover while Deee-Lite's "Groove Is In The Heart" takes a bullet straight through the left ventricle.

Meanwhile, Le Bon's efforts at encroaching on Bono's territory are woeful in the extreme, as he dedicates "Ordinary World" to "the peacemakers", while his attempts at crowd surfing provoke unrestrained laughter as the audience drop him to the floor quicker than Tony Blair dumps David Blunkett. Fortunately, when someone yells out for "White Lines" the only response can be "Don't do it!" Thankfully, "911 Is A Joke" is at least avoided.

Having slaughtered their own material as well as that of others, it's a wonder there aren't any "Wanted" posters available on the merchandise stall as we depart. If The Strokes are shaping-up anything like this in 20 years time, it would do them well to stay away from their public.

by James Marshall