The one thing that music journalists hate more than anything else - apart of course from having to pay for anything - is fellow music journalists getting ideas above their station and actually forming bands. Lester Bangs, Nick Kent, Paul Morley, Chris Roberts.....great journo's one and all but when it came to wielding a guitar as opposed to a typewriter they all fell flatter than Action Man's front bottom. And thank Christ for that we all shout.
Nothing could be more dispiriting than a smartarse music journo on being asked as to whether they 'could do any better then' actually coming up with something that was in fact better. Exhilarated beyond belief music journo's everywhere would suddenly rise up - as long as the revolution kicked off well gone noon - and grab control of the whole f**king world, a ruling oligarchy based upon one's ability to slip the word 'seminal' into everyday conversation and rattle off the tracklisting to 'London's Calling' in less time than it takes for the other person to say 'go away please, you're tedious...'
Regular Fries are another ex-scribbler's plaything so are you the general public still safe from a new wave of omnipotent, multi-skilled renaissance bullsh**ters like Paul Moody, keyboards and ex-NME? Let's just say that 'War on Plastic Plants' won't bring the walls tumbling down around our ears just yet. Not to say that it's a bad collection of heavily derivative one-paced grooves; it is in fact a perfect reflection of the zeitgeist, a document very much of it's time. That time though is, give or take a few weeks, the heady summer months of 1990 and takes for it's inspiration not the recognised bigboys of the time like the Mondays and the Roses but the less-celebrated second wave of indie-dance chancers like If and the World of Twist. Great bands both but you'd struggle to argue their significance in the wider scheme of things.
'High As The Music' is best track by far, Intastella fronted by BAD-period Mick Jones. Elsewhere The Charlatans' early Hammond slink shows up on 'Blown A Fuse' and on 'Last Horizon' the whacked-out ghost of Flowered Up turns up to pull a few faces. Let's see, who else was brewing up at the time? Bocca Juniors...yep they're here....A Homeboy A Hippie and a Funki Dredd.....yep..see the torrent of invective that is 'Coke n Smoke' featuring Kool Keith. 'Radio Virus' is the largely forgotten The High.
What 'War on Plastic Plants' is in fact is the soundtrack to the fag-end of baggy if the film-makers are ultimately refused permission to actually use any of the original music. A curious period piece from a bunch of thirtysomethings eager to relive the music of their youth, what we have here is the musical equivalent of dancing around your bedroom in those ten year old 26-inch flares that you've just discovered in the bottom of your wardrobe. A bit of a laugh but you wouldn't wear them down to the pub. Unless of course you were a music journalist...
