Hey, kids! Tired of those old moves like the twist, the watusi and the mosh? Here's BS2000 with some cool new dance routines you can practice without hurting your brothers, sisters, problem neighbours or local oppressed minorities.
This is the noble but faintly crazed dream of Beastie Boy Adam 'Ad Rock' Horowitz and his old mate, hardcore drummer Amery 'AWOL' Smith. BS2000 is Horowitz' latest contrivance to fill the yawning New York days between Beasties projects while Mike D runs his empire and Yauch meditates. The idea is to make rump-shaking, retro-styled dance music out of tinny Casios and the world's crappest drum machines, with some occasional hardcore shouting over the top.
So far, so much messing about. What differentiates 'Simply Mortified' from the usual Grand Royal collection of smug in-jokes, however, is the strictly laugh-free lyrics. Horowitz' anti-sexist, anti-racist, anti-homophobic agenda is obviously laudable, and his rants at bores who rave against political correctness ('Boogie Bored') or Eminem-style rappers ("He's homophobic but he's got great lyrics," observes 'The Dilemma' dryly) well-aimed.
But there's none of the wit that leavened the message so effectively on 'Hello Nasty', and a neat Joe Meek homage like 'No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach Is In)' does scant justice to a man who's been involved in some of the greatest records of the past 20 years. As ever, please don't give up the day job.
