Poor old Rodney. He once had so much to say, so many raw tales to tell about love and loss and yet now if you cracked open his head I'm sure it would resemble nothing so much as the syrupy, curdled gloop of a creme egg. And believe me when I say that he really did once mean something.
Probably the most criminally underrated songwriter of all time, if all you know Rod Stewart for is the perma-tanned cartoon character that America turned him into well, shame on you child. That's pretty much like deriding Chuck Berry because you found 'My Ding A Ling' a touch puerile...
The news on the street was that Rod had come over all UK Garage and yes I'm afraid the poor man has succumbed to a bad case of mid-life crisis. Title track 'Human' is the most evident example of this new ill-advised departure and not unfortunately his own personal reading of Jam and Lewis' song as recorded by the Human League. It's no more unpleasant than the emasculated, milk-drinking gimp that is Craig David but it just ain't Rod. That shredded velvet voice gets buried far too deep down in the rough fluff of the mix and before you can say 'Bo Selecta' the whole thing's slid past like a drab, grey, squirt of grease.
Collaborations with Helicopter Girl on 'Don't Come Around Here', with Macy Gray on 'Smitten' and the loving if overproduced take on of Curtis Mayfield's 'It Was Love That We Needed' stand out as highlights but only because the rest of this collection comes with the words ''will this do'' burned deeply into its flabby, bovine arse.
Write some songs Rod. Write some lyrics that actually mean something to you other than the price of a new swimming pool. Failing that go back to Tom Waits or some other such poet. A Faces reunion has recently been mooted and we can only hope it's true. Joyful romps through 'Stay With Me' and 'Poolhall Richard' might seem terribly old hat but at least it's your own hat Rod and, to borrow a phrase, you wear it well.
