There's an international team of scientists funded by nations across the globe who have been trying to discover why Bon Jovi have taken around 20 years to deliver a live album. It really is unfathomable, the biggest stadium rock band in the world, who are still shifting mega units and selling out enormodomes and large land masses across the globe, have until now not released the standard issue live album. If anyone should have done surely it's them.
The fact that they've chosen to lie to us all now that it's here is another mystery as this isn't one wild night at all. It is in fact a collection of live favourites taken from several wild nights spanning their entire career, including a version of 'I Don't Like Mondays' with former Boomtown Rat Sir Bob Geldof guesting.
Well, now that it's with us the pondering should cease once and for all as now we can all relive these Several Wild Nights with 'ver Jovi again and again to our hearts' content. It's time, quite frankly, to just slip it on and get right on with it. However if you are really seeking to get the true Bon Jovi live experience here are a few tips to help accentuate the pleasure that this album will bring:
1) Dig out your favourite denim jacket and faded Skid Row 1989 tour shirt. Slip them on and ruffle your hair.
2) Invite round numerous like-minded souls (enough to fill your living room to bursting point). Ask them to complete step 1 and get themselves over for around 8.30pm, as there is a strict curfew of 10.30pm, encores permitting.
3) Purchase several cans of cheap lager and an inordinate number of plastic glasses. Shake up said cans (froth is all-important), decant and leave to stand on a warm window-sill for many hours. Remember it is best served flat and warm.
4) Take your copy of 'One Wild Night'. Extract the cover and place in the far corner of your garden. Either side place two desk top lamps and two low quality speakers rigged up to a poor midi system.
5) Position two large pillows directly in front of the speakers and await nightfall.
6) Once guests begin to arrive subject them to a strict search and ask them to throw £30 into your fire before entering.
7) Serve the lager until a state of mild inebriation is reached and wait until the room is packed like a sardine tin.
8) Switch on 'stage' lights, await the cheer and press play on the stereo, making sure the back doors are locked so your guests have to crane their necks in order to get a view of the band.
9) Rest assured that sing-a-long moments will ensue, lighters will be held aloft and a good old fashioned evening of light rock anthems will bring the good times back again. Just make sure that your irony filters have been switched off first to gain the full effect.
10) When the album is over switch off the 'stage' lights, turn on the lounge lights, sit back and listen to the reassuring sound of plastic glasses being crunched underfoot as your guests wobble out into a drizzly evening.
Perfect - all the hits are here from 'Runaway' through 'Livin' On A Prayer' to 'It's My Life'. Their entire career is represented and it's all as you'd expect. Robust, big-chested light rock, not threatening at all and often hilarious. It's just that there's a bit of crowd noise and a few ad-libs. Not so much 'One Wild Night' more like 14 Mild Nights, oh and with the inclusion of the current title track single, one incongruous studio cut . Strange.
