Poor Victoria. There she was, week before the release of her first single, gearing up for a battle with Kylie, and before you knew it something horrendous involving aeroplanes happens and the world changes. Suddenly, Posh-Does-Something-Staged-And-Silly-To-Attract-Attention type stories evaporate as the media had some proper news to deal with.
With previous solo Spice albums redefining the term 'patchy', VB had probably the most to live up to. All the other girls have notched up at least one solo chart-topper each, Christ, even Geri's managed four, and whatever she says, Posh must've been gutted that 'Not Such An Innocent Girl' burnt out at number six beneath Bob the Builder and pensionable cheeser DJ Otzi. Thing is, 'Innocent' wasn't that great, and the greater problem is that VB is full of variations on it.
Best bits of a wholly unremarkable set of R&B lite come in the form of the gushy song-for-David 'I.O.U', the Top-Shop J-Lo swish of 'I Wish' and 'Watcha Talkin' Bout'. Otherwise, excruciatingly unsexy pap like 'Midnight Fantasy' and 'No Trix, No Games' is the norm. 'A Mind Of It's Own' isn't too bad with Radio 2 choruses interspersed with allegedly sultry 'raps' giving it a freakish T'Pau feel, with the brief sensation of nausea, it fish hooks itself into your skull with its catchiness. Keep the sickbag handy, though, as Brooklyn guests on closer 'Every Part Of Me'. A song so syrupy, it will have you wondering how anybody present at it's recording managed kept their food down.
Victoria has mastered the art of publicity and promotion to the nth degree, and a little bit of that time wasted mucking around with lip-rings could've been used to concentrate on something more musically memorable. Still, it pisses from a height on 'Scream If You Wanna Go Faster', and she can at least take comfort in that.
