"I've always liked to swing" says Robbie to his agent, tenderly caressing his signed Sinatra photo . "I've got a good idea" says his agent, "why don't you pay a visit to the 'Rat Pack' wardrobe and record a whole album of swing classics." "Oooh darling" exclaims Robbie, rubbing his sweaty palms together with glee, "that's a fantastic idea!"
No it chuffing well isn't Mr Williams!
Forget 'prog. rock' at its most prog ,'Swing When Your Winning', reaches quite another level of musical self indulgence. It's no wonder that Robbie, adorning the tea stained, retro-style sleeve artwork complete with slick side-parting, is looking particularly pleased with himself. After all, his swinging tendencies have been gratified to the extent that he has been given the chance to live out a dream and charge people their hard-earned cash for the privilege of listening to it. For those who find this concept a heavy cross to bear, you're not alone.
The first that most of us heard of Robbie's penchant for swing music was when he hosted a star studded, massively publicised concert at the Albert Hall back in October. This glitzy affair, to be screened on terrestrial TV this weekend, received mixed reviews. Some said that Robbie put on a great show. Others, having re-mortgaged their houses to purchase a ticket, moaned bitterly that the concert was akin to a very expensive piss-up at The Dog on karaoke night.
Enduring this tedious album in its entirety I'm inclined to sympathise with the latter faction. An exhaustive collection of 'golden oldies' by Sinatra, Cole Porter, Dean Martin and Nat King Cole among others, the only time it stimulates the pulse is on the various duets that Robbie performs with the likes of Nicole Kidman ('Somethin' Stupid'), his best mate Jonathon Wilkes and Jane Horrocks. It's Horrocks' intensely grating 'comedy' dialogue with Williams which, coming after their rendition of an even more irritating number ('Things'), represents the low point of the proceedings.
Perhaps, though, the most annoying thing about the smugly-titled 'Robbie Williams - Swing When You're Winning' is that you can't really fault Robbie's performance. Even for those straining at the leash to take him down a peg or two, it has to be said that he handles some challenging numbers with great assurance and trademark arrogance. Of course he's no Sinatra - we all knew that, but his limited vocal abilities are highly polished and finely tuned.
However, when it comes down to it, the issue here is not Robbie's vocal ability, nor the quality of the tracks he has hand-picked to cover. It's the thoroughly reprehensible idea of a massively overblown ego being indulged to the extreme. Or, perhaps it's just the haunting image of that smarmy git with a broad, impish grin on his face getting his kicks at our expense.
