As a country we failed to beat the count. Crouching bloodied and bruised from 15 brutal rounds of US metal (spread across the last few years), we mustered enough strength to stumble back into the dressing room where we promptly collapsed. Well and truly beaten.
But now we've found our feet again and are ready for the next encounter. The difference this time is that we're alert and less likely to get floored so easily. Seconds away and Hoobastank's self-titled second album limps into the ring with about as much ferocity as a junior featherweight. There's no need to batten the hatches this time around as, far from having your senses trampled, they're slowly dulled by this disappointing lukewarm, ultra-polished offering.
Hoobastank - okay, it's a stupid name but come on, we've put up with worse (Limp Bizkit anyone?) - are too often sucked into the trap of churning out glossy sub-Incubus, sub-Faith No More FM rock. Having said that, the majority of the album even lacks the obligatory hooks or bite to warrant the kind of rotation enjoyed by the aforementioned acts.
Still, there are some positives to be drawn from this album. Things start promisingly enough with the hit 'Crawling In The Dark'. One drawback with this strategy is that the rest of the album never quite lives up to the opening track. 'Pieces', 'Too Little Too Late' and 'Remember Me' are the best of an over-produced bunch but the ideas soon run dry.
Hoobastank are obviously a competent garage band that discovered Pro Tools and a major label cash cow. They're also suspiciously clean cut. We're not saying all guitar bands should be a 'warts and all' vision of Lemmy but the members of Hoobastank look like they've stepped straight off the set of a Calvin Klein advert.
The absence of any kind of rough edge takes away the shock factor that so many bands of this ilk rely upon. The mid-paced riffs and predictable choruses become bland and more forgettable as the album progresses. All too quickly they start to sound feeble and generic with every unimaginative twist and turn. If you're looking for the no-frills, risk free option then choose Hoobastank.
A lyric from 'Crawling In The Dark' sums up the situation perfectly: "Is there something more than I've been handed". With Hoobastank, it's all too easy to sidestep the punches and outwit every manoeuvre without breaking sweat. Not championship contenders.
