allSTARS are a kind of low-rent S Club - the product of a children's TV show without the budget and with one less member. A five piece (two boys, three girls), they haven't really set the charts on fire just yet but this, their debut album, still boasts four hit singles. So are they all stars? Well one of them used to be in teen-soap Hollyoaks if that counts.
One of their singles, 'Things That Go Bump In The Night', a shameless mixture of 'Thriller' and the Backstreet Boys sets the B-Movie tone with its Blair Witch meets Blue Peter stylings. The fear continues with a cover of the Bucks Fizz 'classic' 'The Land Of Make Believe' leaving dotmusic more than a little scared at the prospect of a further fourteen tracks.
What does follow is a frightening cocktail of virtually every pop band of the last five years mixed into one stomach churning whole. 'Best Friends' is a diluted take on S Club's 'Reach', 'Happy Ever After Endings' reads like a Steps song title (and sounds like one too), and 'You're a Fool', an attempt at R'n'B sexiness, is frankly sterile.
Towards the end 'The Greatest Love Story' proves to be one of the worst and 'Train of Thought' made me lose mine. The final moments of pain are delivered with particular cruelty however in the shape of a Hi-NRG rendition of Duran Duran's 'Is There Something I Should Know'. Surely one misguided cover version per album is enough, two is just inexcusable. Just for that allSTARS get a sympathic half a star.
