Charismatic popstar with pedigree, one previous owner (Take That) and above average voice, seeks good home. Needs protecting from himself (dependency, relationships). £80 million. Sound like a bargain to you?
It's a lot of dough even alongside footballers wages. We'll see if Robbie's worth it. Nearly five million copies sold of an average vanity project - 'Swing When You're Winning' - suggests he could repay the sum on autopilot, but surely there's a risk with someone who's cracked more than once before. Mariah anyone?
So, it's agreed that 'Escapology' is a crucial album for both EMI and this perennially troubled yet bravado-fuelled 21st century icon. But when aren't they? Remember the debut that salvaged his career? Or the follow-up that demanded success or he'd be finished before he'd even started? Love or loath him, Robbie's delivered when required. Importantly, 'Escapology' is no exception.
If there's a theme running through 'Escapology', it's that he's not the man you think he is. However, while he rocks out more, inches the volume up and dares to swear, the overall feeling is - perhaps most significantly - that Robbie's just letting his hair down and getting better at what he's good at.
And he's not stupid. The hits immediately make themselves known - the Queen stomper 'Monsoon', soulful anthem 'Revolution', and the bittersweet ballad 'Sexed Up'. Don't be fooled by the mediocrity of 'Feel', it's a red herring that neither represents the style or quality of the album.
Two of the best tracks both deal with his apparent lack of self-esteem, but in a completely different way. 'Handsome Man' (a single if he feels adventurous) makes the point in a rye fashion - "Please don't drop me/I'll fall to pieces on ya" and "It's not very complicated/I'm just young and overrated" - while 'Come Undone' is the serious side of falling apart - "Do another interview/Sing a bunch of lies/Tell about celebrities that I despise/And sing love songs." Is he talking about himself? Yes, you would assume.
Musically and vocally, there's few surprises but at least lyrically he's moved on from clever-ish wordplay and inane love songs, to tell tales of being generally screwed-up at the hands of the multi-million dollar pop machine. It's time to shed burdens of being, well, Robbie. Public perception may be harder to alter, but within himself, as the title suggests, Robbie feels he doesn't need to conform anymore.
As for the risk. What risk? This is Britain's only true pop star. Humour him while he seeks out the LA lifestyle and the US breakthrough, because you know he'll be back. He still needs the UK. And we need Robbie Williams. What we don't need are the "idols" and "stars" trying to take his place.
