"We didn't think nobody was gonna show up". The grammatically selective humility of frontman Josh Doyle is easily the most controversial thing on display tonight.
Following a seemingly indiscriminate promotional drive, the Dum Dums have, in a 'Pied Piper' fashion, enticed a group of under-eighteens into a notorious indie den. Surely subversion and mayhem awaits?
Well, not quite. It's pure entertainment, but with such an abundance of energy, John, Stu and Steve could easily rush to Prague and topple capitalism, single handed. If they so desired.
At the moment, though, they're happy just to be where they are. As Josh puts it, "we're lucky to be in a band, we could be working in a factory".
There are those who would suggest, unkindly, that they may have transcended the grey surrounds or working life for now, but their blend of power pop and punky ballads is barely removed from the production line. They might be right. If you've have even a brief memory of the excesses of Nirvana and Green Day, then you might just be entitled to that opinion.
If you haven't, then the rebellious nuclear force of 'The Kind of Day I've Had' easily transcends your wildest expectations. As such, opening this gig up to a wider audience seems a simple masterstroke. Sure, they may have pilfered the bass line from Terrorvision, but who's to care when the ground's bending under the pressure. Floors just aren't meant to give like this,
but who's going to calm the crowd?
Certainly not the band. It's a riotous mixture of dry ice, water fights, intermittent strobing and rock star shapes from now on, all clinically calculated to captivate the attention.
'Killing Me With Kindness' is a quality mini-anthem, joyous and utterly irresistible. 'Army of Two' is a contemplative moment, unashamedly about "when you decide to love one person for the rest of your life", apparently, while 'It Goes Without Saying', the title track that, bizarrely, didn't make it onto the album, is a spiky gem.
It's an undemanding show, for an undemanding audience. For many, it's a first experience of live music, sticky floors and ear-shattering volume.
With time, the memory will fade, but 'Everything' will always remain, a simple 'Teenage Kicks' for the 21st century that easily implants itself into the consciousness. Of that, the Dum Dums should be proud.
