It sounds so appealing: an Eighties band make a one-off tour, fainting crowds replaced by more than faint crow's feet; the only original members are the vocalist, and the two guys no-one ever cared about; they're billed like a group of accountants (songwriter Gary Kemp owns the rights to the name); and, while their ex-members boast flourishing acting careers and minor heartthrob status, their singer's recent media highpoint is ranting about parking restrictions in the 'Haringay Advertiser'. Mmm, inhale the sickly stench of crushing embarrassment...
Or maybe that smell's just coming from the audience's perfume. Once spendidly adorned in shoulderpads and bouffant hair, tartan pants and frilly shirts (well, it was cutting edge back in the day) the Spandau Ballet fans of '83 seem to have moved en masse to Essex and taken up a full-time careers as white trash. Cheap gold jewellery, a weight problem and clothes recyled from the Christmas panto are this evening's dress code.
H N and K, fortunately aren't in on it, although their regulation baggy brown leather trousers reek of bank manager on a leisure break. But there was always a bit of the bank manager to Spandau Ballet: the sharp suits, clean-cut Tony Hadley like a strait-laced Bryan Ferry, his voice oozing smoothness. The smart, sensible alternative to Duran Duran's wild hedonism.
That's what we loved about them, and why they fail miserably when, amidst a predictable greatest hits set, they try and fight DD on their own terms. The sublime 'Save A Prayer', whose raw sexuality owed much to the fact that Simon le Bon couldn't actually reach the notes, is as much of a turn on as doing your accounts. H, N and K are far better sticking to what they're best at - jazz-inflected, quintessential Eighties power-pop songs with rhymes that could be flogged as Prozac ("She used to be a diplomat/And now she's at the laundry mat' - 'Highly Strung').
Despite Tony Hadley having had his voice lightly touched with sandpaper, twenty years having past and two members no longer being in the band, 'Chant No. 1 (I Don't Need This Pressure On)' , 'Only When You Leave' and 'Lifeline' sound as good as ever. So it's naff and the whiff of cheese is never quite eradicated, but as the camply-quipping ("I can't believe you got the second verse wrong!") Tony lets the audience take over 'True' and everyone gets up to dance to 'Gold' you can't help thinking this is more fun than any gig you'll go to this year. Though possibly also the one with the worst dress sense.
Images: Winnie Chang
