Jeez, do not have day job if you want to see The Orb live. Orbilistas have nocturnal body clocks and not a jot of rhythmic dancing ability.
But who cares? Let's club-it-up with the usual trappings of bubbles and weirdy lightshow. 'Doctor' (read bonkers) Alex Paterson et al park themselves behind decks festooned in silver paper that shimmers like luxury liners cruising us back to 1998.
Hovering over the stage is a ginormous illuminated (surprise!) orb. It acts like a mood ring, changing its colour and pattern in sync with each tune.
First hue is glowing orange to accompany 'A Mile Long Lump of Lard', from current album Cydonia. Lard-like is exactly what it is. The fat beats press down, making you feel like you're swimming in vats of suet.
The Orb don't incorporate samples as much as layer them. As a result, the songs separate like oil and vinegar. Maybe that's the intention because when the elements aggressively push against each other, it highlights the individual components.
It makes the songs sound uncomfortable, since they search for their natural course of unification and The Orb just won't let them. Hence most of the tunes are hollow, vacant and without spirit. The punters save their enthusiasm for either back catalogue hits, or the big yellow balloon bobbing over their heads. Both 'Blue Room' and 'Perpetual Dawn' are greeted by frantic arm waving and glow-sticks. 'Towers of Dub's feather-light refrain segues into dubby, clubby bass before looping back onto itself with kiss curls of melody. The only new track to get the crowd shakin' its collective booty is 'Thursday's Keeper', with its 'Hi Ho Silver' vocal and a drumbeat that slices into it like a hot knife through butter.
All is not lost though. While they may not have the mischievous creativity of Orbital or the novelty of Bent, The Orb can still wheeze around the dance floor with them. And to be fair, not many acts can produce an album that goes from ear-bleeding throb to 'just gonna rest me eyes for a minute' chilled out grooves. The Orb leave the stage to 'Mr Sandman'.
Very apt since it is 2 am on a school night. Time for all good reviewers to be tucked up in bed, dreaming of the day they make music instead of write about it. Perhaps The Orb should be dreaming of the day they are once again at the vanguard of dance music instead of having their heads up their own little fluffy...erm...clouds.
Photographer: Angela Lubrano
