Shameful but true part one. In the opening hours of Ministryof Sound's summer festival Josh from Big Brother attracted more of an audience than Gilles Peterson.
Shameful but true part two. The initial meagre trickle through the front entrance meant that while DJs such as The Fat City Crew, Josh Wink and Steve Lawler suffered nightmare warm-up slots, two more Big Brother starlets, Elizabeth and Mel, eased themselves into the business of being celebs for the night.
Twelve arenas, 160 DJs and acts, the customary masochistic funfair and no rain (wah-hey!) saw a sudden swell in numbers at around 8pm. The sun was still up and Renaissance, Golden and the other five plus tents were all enjoying a surging maelstrom of sweat and energy reminiscent of eighties illegal rave days - thirty odd thousand punters nutted and love-ing-it!!
This was, however, a fact which begged the worrying question "Would anyone want to leave the comfort of their chosen tent and brave the cold for a headlining pop act?." Fortunately for the man with the ridiculous headgear and even more ridiculous white furry jacket and trousers, they did - in their droves.
Once Normski had polished off his intro and managed to tear himself out of the spotlight, JK got on with making an entrance Madonna would be proud of. Body-popping down the central lit staircase to tumultuous applause and with an accompanying light show that made the preceding Bent look like a performance down at the local school hall.
Above everything, tonight was about defining Jamiroquai's potential for true pop professionalism. His ability to display some of the meanest body movements this side of 1985 and sing concurrently without a murmur of breathlessness proved he was up there with The Greats. This dual mastery (singing and dancing) ranks JK amongst the highest in Popland and is spectacular when you consider most pop stars can't walk and chew gum at the same time.
But proving his worth in the performance stakes doesn't necessarily cut it with the more discerning music fans out there. Unfortunately being backed by a band who would keep Parkinson's guests more than happy doesn't equal rock and roll, or funk for that matter.
OK, they were tight, as were the impressive backing vocalists (including, at one point, Beverly Knight) but it all felt that touch too squeaky clean. Oldies like 'Cosmic Girl' and 'Space Cowboy' did indeed tug at the memory strings but it wasn't until the later guitar solos and excellent whispered beat box (a talent he should put to more use) that the music actually lifted out of it's seventies funk monotony.
The abstract breaks of 'Deeper Underground' pumped from the stage and the audience really started to react, justifying JK's excessive pre-gig nerves. He confided he wasn't sure which tracks, if any, would please a dance audience: "I was shitting housebricks before I came out. Do any of you know what that feels like?" Mmmm, no I'm afraid not.
Faultless performances of new tracks 'Love Philosophy' and current single 'Little L' could have been lifted straight from the vinyl, again showing that, yeah, this band could follow the script and the main man can sing. But then again, so can Jane Macdonald!
This show was polished to perfection and any loyally unquestioning fans would undoubtedly have left with a generous grin on their faces. However the increasing drafts down at the front and the necessary addition of a toaster to get the applause going for an encore proved that maybe the Big Brother "syndrome" was rearing it's ugly head again and everyone had simply turned up for an ogle at Denis Van Outen's ex.
Ten out of ten for quality. Five out of ten for content (the decision to cover Donna Summer's 'Bad Girls' did nothing to help the outcome).
So, between lapsing all too often into a severely cringe-worthy American accent; grinding his groin in a way that would have made Elvis blush and trying desperately to convince the nonplussed audience to go out and buy his new single "You can see us at number one or Five at one. Its you who makes the f**king choice", he also succinctly proved he could easily follow his ex girlfriend's footsteps ("just in case any of you didn't know, I'm single") and apply for a job on the West End.
Let's face it, if he managed to land the role of Joseph at least he'd be able to provide his own costume.
